February 27, 2017 - Press Secretary
Trumps signs new Executive Order for Oscar Night at the White House
Trump signs “Oscars at the White House” Executive Order
Trumps signs new Executive Order — “Oscar Night at the White House”
In a groundbreaking and historic executive order, President Donald J. Trump is seeking to enhance the relationship between the Hollywood elite and the White House.
“After the 2017 Oscars, I feel it’s important to embrace the diversity of our Hollywood elite.” Trump stated. It was during his 5 O’clock bowel movement that he had this epiphany (Jimmy Kimmel was apparently correct).
Trump signs “Oscar Night at the White House” Executive Order
The executive order, dubbed “Oscar Night at the White House” mandates that all White House staff members meet together to watch the Annual Academy Awards in the White House entertainment center. Any staffer who does not attend will be required to hold handmade signs reading “Down with Oscar” outside the White House for 5 hours on the day following the Oscars broadcast.
“This will be a gala event. Sort of a ‘Doctor Strange-in-the-Apocalypse’ ambiance,” said Dr. Ben Carson (alluding to Jimmy Kimmel’s reference), Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. “In fact, I’ll create a quarterly HUD ‘night at the flix’ event for all my staffers to attend so we can stay abreast of the upcoming Hollywood blockbusters.”
Dr. Ben Carson says it’ll be a gala event!
White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer was beside himself with joy. “I cannot believe the fun we will have watching the Oscars together–in the White House! We’ve contracted a local caterer to bring in food and beverages. And most importantly–we’ve contracted with the TV broadcasters to send us the signal a full minute ahead of the viewing public. Our newest staff position, ‘Director of Real Facts (DORF)’ will review all award winner announcements before the viewing public hears them in an effort to prevent any embarrassment of possibly announcing the wrong winners. This show of solidarity with the Hollywood elite will help portray how serious the President is about enhancing our relationship with Hollywood.”
It’ll be fun to dress up as our favorite Hollywood celebrity. I can’t wait!
Spicer also stated that he recommended, and the POTUS agreed, that all staffers will dress up as their favorite Hollywood actor or actress and the best costume will win 2 free tickets, round trip airfare and hotel accommodations to watch the Oscars live in the following year.
Our new DORF will prevent inaccurate facts about Oscar winners
“Can you imagine how embarrassing it was to — during Black History Month — announce that ‘La La Land’ was the winner of Best Picture, when in fact ‘Moonlight’ was the factual winner! Apparently, even Hollywood enjoys a little bit of those ‘alternative facts’ we’ve heard about in the past.” Emphasized Kellyanne Conway, Counselor to the POTUS. “Our new DORF will help prevent this sort of faux pas in the future.”
Watch for details of the 2018 “Oscar Night at the White House” news coverage and you can have a part in picking the best staffer’s Hollywood costume. If the winner is one you picked, you, too will get 2 free tickets to the Oscars along with airfare and hotel accommodations.
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